Baby in Belly – Almost There
I haven’t been feeling as positive lately with my emotions or physically. I am hesitant to start this post in fear that this will be full of complaining and whining.
I feel like since my last post about my pregnancy I used up all my positive energy and I have taken a downward spiral to the bottom of the earth. I want this baby out so I can get going with giving birth, my recovery and my life back to normal. There is a slight problem with this; I don’t know what normal will be with four children and right now is too soon to have this baby on the outside!
The reasons for this:
I have no energy, no patience and no appetite!
I have been sleeping and lying around a lot.
The snow conditions are horrible for me and the boys to play in.
I have a horrible cold, cough and my voice is gone.
I have felt like a bad mother and wife. Recently I have had a lot of Braxton Hick contractions.
Because of these things, our life has led to this:
A really trashed house, not so healthy meals and Jack doing some of the cooking.
We have had very little physical activity outside.
There has been too much movie watching for kids.
We have very wild and naughty boys (due to the above reasons!).
Thankfully, my voice is gone because I can’t scream like I want to and my swear words can’t be heard.
I was able to meet with my midwife when the Braxton Hicks contractions were happening frequently. I was very nervous not knowing if they were the real ones or the practice ones. She reassured me everything was okay, sent me home with Black Haw drops to take and permission to not over do it and to take it easy. I haven’t needed the Black Haw and the Braxton Hicks contractions have stayed away for over two weeks. I still have a few Braxton Hicks contractions each day, but this is completely normal!
I have been taking it easy and am slowly trying to catch up on things around the house. When I was lying around a lot it was hard not to worry about things and feel panic with every little movement or feeling in my belly. So one day I spent time in my sewing room. I felt better because I actually was doing something and my mind was distracted. I am starting to think of the things I need to do to prepare my home and my bedroom for a home birth. My home birth supplies were ordered this week from Radiant Belly.
The root cause of some of my troubles:
I figured out this week that some of my emotional instability has come from realizing the end of my last pregnancy is near. I really don’t want this baby to come out any sooner than April. This is my last pregnancy and an end to one of the many stages in motherhood. Thinking about never ever being able to have another baby grow inside my belly makes me very very sad! (Thanks, Jessie for helping me realize this)
I love being pregnant!
I love my midwives and will miss seeing them regularly.
I love the amazing things that go on inside with every stage of my baby’s development.
I love watching my belly grow.
I love feeling the baby moving.
I love thinking about what this baby will look like, what kind of personality this baby will have, and how this baby will change the dynamics in our family.
I love the conversations I have with our three boys about this baby and hearing what is on their mind. And I try to imagine the look of love that will be on their faces when they first meet our new baby.
I love the comments I get from my friends and even strangers about looking beautiful. Because I feel beautiful, most days.
I love it when Jack’s Grandma Elma encourages me to have a second helping of food because “you are eating for two!”
I love watching the numbers on the scale get bigger, knowing that they will go back down again.
I love the adventure and challenge of labor and giving birth.
I love holding my new-born baby in my arms for the very first time.
I love breastfeeding my babies.
And last but not least, I love not having a period.
Things are starting to look up:
We have gotten a little snow to keep my Saturday ski class going and we now have some man-made snow on our trails. I skied last week for the first time in over a week, at Henry’s pace. At least I had skis on!
And again on Saturday morning trying to keep up with Robbie and Charlie and friends. I took a short cut to get in front of them for this photo.
Movie watching only happens on the weekends. The older boys have been listening better, reading more, playing with Legos and doing more jobs around the house.
A high light of my week was a visit from Aunt Susie!
As I was struggling putting my socks on one morning, Henry said to me, “Yours belly is full! You can’t get anymore food, candy and medicine (he means vitamins)!”
I am getting to bed early (before 10:00) and I am feeling more rested every day. It disgust me to wake up on my own before my alarm goes off at 5:30!
I saw my midwives last week. They understood my frustrations and annoyances with everyone and everything in my life at that time. They also opened my eyes to some wonderful home remedies to work on this cold and cough. I saw improvements within 24 hours! And now my cold is gone. My voice isn’t back 100%. My voice has improved enough that I have had to stop swearing.
Once my cold symptoms were gone my energy level came back.
My patience has come back.
The baby’s head is down, for now, but facing the wrong way. I am doing some exercises that will help turn the baby around. I will see my midwives at the end of the week to see if there is any change in the baby’s position.
My blood pressure is good, I am measuring very close to number of weeks I am and my weight gain is around 20 pounds.
My home visit with the midwives will be scheduled for sometime next month.